Loving a person, moving in with your significant other, getting married, staying married, and having a happily married life are different stages of your relationship.
They broadly vary with each other. Just as in a previous blog post, we talked about the difference between loving a person and moving in together; today, we will talk about another stage of your relationship.
When a couple stays in marriage for a considerable period, they obtain many life lessons from their spouse. These life lessons are sometimes not noticeable at first sight but make a huge difference in your future.
Following are 10 such life lessons you will learn when you’re married:
It Takes Time & Effort.
When a couple decides to get married, opinions of all sorts come. Some say try to listen and agree, do not contradict every time. Some say the key to your happy marriage is compromise, compromise, and compromise. And the list goes on.
I am not saying that these are not valid points because I believe everyone has different opinions based on their experiences. You listen to them with respect, but at the end of the day, you have the choice to act upon it or not.
I would say that no fixed time in a marriage is crucial. It all depends upon the circumstances. No doubt you need time to understand your partner. That is why 4 years is the most commonly said duration. But one thing to understand is that a few years of your life will come to a halt where things won’t progress. Be it your financial conditions or your relationship.
That doesn’t mean life would always remain the same. Things change, and they take time. The best thing to do is embrace the change and try to make peace with it.
It often happens that financial constraints impact your relationship with your spouse, but even that’s not constant. If you both survive the problematic chapters, you may love each other more in the end. In life, you will experience changes, and if you embrace those changes, you will ace them.
Suspicion Is a Slow Poison.
Marriage is not 100% love. Instead, it’s 50% love, and the remaining 50% is made up of trust, understanding, care, appreciation, and encouragement to achieve growth in life.
Many couples immensely love their partner, but they don’t trust them. And they end up being separated. Trust is very significant, and it is one of the bricks in the foundation of any relationship.
If you continue to doubt your partner, you will suffocate them. Doubt creates suspicion, and suspicion is a slow poison. It will eat you up, and in the end, it will kill your relationship. If you continue to doubt your spouse, you will lose them in the end.
If your husband is constantly interrogating your friends and controlling your social circle, he is slowly making your relationship toxic. It may sound like a small thing, but it has a considerable impact on married life.
This is a life lesson. Ensuring and continuously raising doubts are different activities. For instance, if you are always skeptical about your partner’s good intentions and accuse him of things he has not done, your relationship will end up being a battlefield. On the other hand, if you trust your partner and let go of your doubts, you will live in peace. It is very crucial to trust one another and give each other some space. If you don’t do that, it will have a negative impact on your relationship.
Travel Together to Strengthen Your Relationship.
Travelling is good for a couple to rejuvenate their relationship. People get exhausted from their busy routines, so their mental health starts to get affected.
This brings evident changes in their moods, and spouses start quarreling with each other on little things because their capacity to tolerate and understand wears out.
This is why it’s better if you both travel together and go on a trip, even if it’s for two days. Taking a break from your busy routine and going out to scenic places freshen up your mind and thoughts.
Vacations work as great stress busters and mood stabilizers. Once your nerves are relaxed, you both can again enjoy each other’s company. Walk around and do various activities together. Talk about things that you both have not lately shared. This helps in bridging the gap between spouses.
When you get worn out, you can behave in the same manner at your workplace, which is more harmful because it can affect your job too. At such times, remember to relax, take a break and get back to normal. It would help you maintain your personal and professional relationships.
Being Each Other’s Admirers.
If you see that your partner has the proficiency to ace in career, support them and encourage them to do their best. It’s a great feeling for a spouse to realize their partner helps them attain professional growth.
This makes them understand your worth, and they would only love you more for your generosity.
People feel attracted to individuals who are positive and appreciative. If you keep criticizing and discouraging others, they will start avoiding you. That’s a fundamental lesson that marriage gives you.
Apologize First and Wrap It Up.
The first one to apologize is the most powerful person. It shows that you are strong and have good character. It can also be seen as a sign of weakness if you don’t apologize first.
Sometimes, marriages don’t work out because one person is always wrong and the other is always right. When this happens, it is essential to have a frank conversation and apologize for your wrong deeds. This will help in mending the relationship.
Being disturbed or furious destroys any relationship. There is just one response regarding this; say sorry, be humble, and let bygones be bygones. Wrap up the conversation, and give some time for both of you to relax.
There is no benefit to keeping the seeds of resentment because once instilled in you, they accumulate over time and spoil your relationship.
If You Don’t Want Children, Don’t Have Them.
In life, don’t do anything you don’t want to do. If you don’t want children, then don’t have them. It’s that simple. You will be miserable, and so will they.
When it comes to having a family, be decisive about it. If you are an awesome two and don’t want to take responsibility for children, then don’t.
Raising unwanted children is not suitable for them too. Because when you do something forcibly, it can make you regret it later.
You should never look at parenting as a burden or a job because it isn’t. It is a blessing. Your children are your happiness and joy. Let it be your choice, and do not let others influence your choices.
Live with The Real Version of Your Partner.
They say that you love a person after 5 years of marriage. Because when dating, partners mostly show their good side to their partners.
However, when they live together, both get to experience each other’s moods, good or bad. That’s where the test of love begins.
Every day of your married life, you are introduced to a new habit of your life partner, and after fully knowing them, you say to yourself, okay, this is the real version of my partner, and I genuinely love them for this.
Try to see the reality in every situation of your life to learn how to deal with it effectively.
Work Out On How to Argue.
Even arguing has its principles. You don’t get anything if you continue to scream, break things or walk out.
Instead, you can leave the space so you both can cool down and later talk about it with sanity. Heated moments coupled with aggressive behaviors only destroy a relationship.
You’ll have arguments with many people in your daily life, which is why it is essential to learn how to argue. It’s not just about marriage but also about work and friendships.
Calm down and be communicative. Try to talk things out rather than argue. For instance, if you’re married to someone who always works long hours, be understanding and don’t start an argument about it. Arguing will be counter-productive and won’t solve anything.
Hatred Is Temporary. Never Take It Seriously.
Whenever you fight with your partner, many ill feelings burst out from both participants.
People consider those hard feelings real; however, they are not. In this misunderstanding, grudges between two people arise.
This accumulated bitterness that you consider to be true fills hatred in your heart, and in the end, your relationship gets spoiled.
Remember that whenever someone is angry, they rant it out without thinking. So never think that they are serious. If you do, it will only make the hatred stronger.
In order for a relationship to work, both parties should understand that hatred is temporary and never take it seriously.
It will be Monotonous.
You may realize that your life has become stagnant, and there is nothing new at some point in life. However, you are living differently every day.
You may feel that you can’t meet your friends due to a busy schedule, which sounds frustrating. However, the truth is that life is not a movie or a TV show. It’s a long journey with a roller coaster of new experiences and a series of ups and downs.
And in this long journey, there are days when it is monotonous, where nothing extra or memorable happens. That’s alright because this is reality. The soon you realize that, the happier you will be.
Life is great when you have a loving partner, and your relationship progresses over time. However, every stage of your relationship demands a different level of understanding.
Marriage is that level in your relationship that gives you some powerful life lessons worth learning. If you apply all of the principles in this article, your marriage will be successful.
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.
I’m Neha. I am a writer and blogger who has been blogging about her life for the past 6 years.