There is no doubt that moving in together is a significant decision in your life. The change in your relationship affects your life in many ways. It looks like a fantasy… Living with the person, you love the most. However, it can turn out to be truly hard to live together. To prepare for the unexpected things beforehand, consider asking these 10 questions from your partner before you guys move in together.
Why Do You Want to Move in Together?
This is the most important question that both partners should ask. The response should not be ‘to set aside cash’. Moving in together is a major stage in a relationship. It is a responsibility not to be trifled with.
Be truthful when you think about the reasons. If you are just in a hurry to settle in with your partner and find not good enough reasons to live together, it will not end up good. Maybe you and your partner have different reasons opposite to each other. Both of you need to know what you are seeking from your relationship and where you see it going. Be clear about it.
Take some real time to contemplate your actual explanations behind making this step, and afterward, have a conversation with your partner.
Think about the possible why’s:
- How would it help build a more profound and stronger relationship with your partner?
- Are you moving because you both live in a very costly place?
- Do you both have similar views about your relationship?
- Is it a logical next step to take your relationship to another level?
How Will You Divide House Chores?
It is better to clarify specific responsibilities and who will do what to avoid any discomfort in the future. If you are a clean freak and your partner is a bit clumsy and a type of person who is not always really up to maintaining tidiness in the home, are you going to deal with it?
In that case, discussing it beforehand will make it clear to you that you are the one who is going to be in charge of all this. Therefore, you should consult the division of responsibilities with your partner before moving in so there is no resentment if one person does more than the other. In the end, be sure that both of you are good with the system.
How Are Finances Going to Work Out?
Before moving in together, you want to figure out who will deal with bank accounts, payments, etc. Will you place utilities and rent in both names, or just one? Will you make a joint account or split things between you?
Unfortunately, money can damage a relationship in many ways. When one partner thinks they are being overburdened with the finances and the other is not equally contributing, this develops a rift between them. Please work it out before moving in. Ensure you know what you can bear and look into all the expenses, so no one feels the other is taking advantage of them.
Discuss Your Habits.
Habits are an essential discussion that you need to do. If you think about it, even when we live with our parents or siblings, everyone gets annoyed with the different habits of family members. It’s natural when people live together; they do have habit clashes.
Do your sleeping habits match? Does your partner like to party hard, and you don’t? What irritates you about your partner? Do you drink alcohol? What are your food preferences? How much ‘me’ time do you usually like to have? How is your sex life going to change after moving in together? And yes, do ask about cleaning habits.
Are you Willing to Compromise?
Consider any relationship; it demands adjustment. And if you talk about an intimate relationship, it needs some extra amount of compromise because sharing your life and your living space with a person is not an easy task.
It sounds funny, but it is true. When you were dating, your compromise was to agree on which club to go to. But when it comes to living together, there will be a lot of places where you would be required to adjust.
For instance, your boyfriend or girlfriend brings an old book rack with them as it is their favorite. On the other end, you do not like that old furniture piece and want to remove it. Now, this can cause a huge fight.
How to avoid it? Try to understand that maybe your boyfriend/girlfriend loves their old book rack because they are nostalgic about it, or it is too spacious. If you don’t find it appealing, you can renew it (after discussing with him and explaining to him your point of view that you wish to make your home look beautiful). That’s how compromise can save your relationship!
How Will You Handle a Dispute?
Having disputes is a natural and regular part of life. In every relationship, there are conflicts, be it with your siblings, parents, friends, or partner.
The main thing is that you know how to settle them. If you both have had a few conflicts in the past but successfully resolved them, then the chances are that you can live together and work out your difference of opinion.
In the past, if you two had been able to talk to each other clearly and logically resolve your arguments, then you have an excellent understanding of weathering the inevitable controversies that life will toss at you!
Are You a Good Travel Partner?
Often it is said that if you want to know a person, travel with them. That’s true. Even if two best friends go on a trip for a week, they quarrel a lot and end up yelling at each other.
Being with a person for 24 hours means that you will be exposed to all their moods, which you can only get to see when you live with them. That is why loving a person and living with that person are different.
If you both went on vacation earlier and pulled it smoothly despite some issues, that’s a good indication. On the other hand, if sharing the same space has been troublesome for you, then it’s better to hold on right now.
Do You Like Their Social Circle?
Do you like their social circle? While you were dating, you had probably met your partner’s friends. But when you both share the same space, it’s natural that their friends will come over to meet them.
Are you okay with their presence in your home? Is it acceptable to you if their friends use your favorite chair or scream at the top of their lungs while watching a match? Meeting their friends for a while and having them over at your place are two separate things, so you got to see if that works for you.
While the decision to move in together does not rest upon this aspect, discuss it with your partner to avoid any arguments in the future.
Are You a Cat or Dog Person?
Some people are fond of dogs, while others are fond of cats or other pets. Some people do not like animals at all. Even a few are afraid of cats.
This is why you better discuss your pet preferences. It is essential to do it before you get a spot together in any case since it will restrict your choices.
Interestingly, dog and cat people don’t get along; that’s why this becomes a problem too. I am sure you don’t want to fight over pets in the future!
And if you get a pet, how will you divide the responsibilities? Who will take him to the vet? Who is going to take them for a walk? Who is going to bathe them?
How Frequently Should You Go On a Dinner Date?
If you both are working professionals, you may not have regular dinners together. Even if one of you stays at home, they might be busy with other things, and you don’t get to eat together. For a few couples, it’s totally fine. But others want to eat together once a week, a month, two weeks, etc. What are your preferences? Discuss it with your partner to have a clear setup before moving in together.
It is good if you have decided to live together, but consider these 10 essential questions and discuss them before you do that. The more clarity you have about each other’s preferences, the more chances you guys can move in easily.
I’m Neha. I am a writer and blogger who has been blogging about her life for the past 6 years.