In our society, it’s widely believed that we must seek validation from others to feel good about ourselves. Specifically, we’re taught that we need the approval of men in order to be happy and whole. This is a dangerous belief. Here’s why…
You are the only one who can truly validate yourself.
No man – no matter how great he is – can do that for you. A man can only reflect back to you what you already believe about yourself. So, if you’re constantly seeking validation from a man, you don’t truly believe in your own worth.
This is a problem because it means that your happiness is dependent on someone else – and that’s not healthy or sustainable. If you want to be truly happy, you need to learn to validate yourself.
How do you do that? Start by recognizing your own worth. Acknowledge your accomplishments and strengths. Be gentle and loving with yourself, especially when you make a mistake. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a good friend. Practice self-compassion and learn to accept yourself just as you are.
When you start to truly believe in your own worth, you won’t need validation from anyone else – including a man. You’ll know that you’re worthy of love and respect, no matter what. And that confidence will be incredibly attractive to men.
So, instead of seeking validation from a man, focus on validating yourself. It’s the only way to be truly happy and confident – and it will attract the right kind of man into your life.
Men are often too busy worrying about themselves to worry about you.
If you’re always seeking validation from a man, you’re putting your happiness in his hands. But the truth is, he’s probably too busy worrying about himself to worry about you.
Men are often self-centered, and they have their own issues to deal with. It’s not fair to expect them to make you feel good about yourself all the time. They’re not thinking about whether or not you’re happy – they’re thinking about their own happiness.
So, if you’re waiting for a man to make you happy, you’ll be waiting forever. It’s not his job to make you happy – it’s your job.
So, instead of depending, focus on your own life and what makes you happy. Find things that make you feel good – and do them, whether or not a man is involved. Spend time with friends and family, pursue your hobbies, travel, volunteer – whatever makes you happy.
You’ll be much happier and more confident when you’re not constantly seeking validation. And that will make it easier to attract someone who’s truly interested in you.
When you rely on others for validation, you give them power over you.
If you’re always seeking validation, you’re giving power over yourself. He has the ability to make you feel good or bad about yourself, and that’s not healthy.
You should never give anyone that much power over your happiness. When you do, it puts you in a vulnerable position and makes you more likely to be taken advantage of.
So, instead, focus on you. Remind yourself that you are the only one who can truly validate yourself. No one else’s opinion of you matters – only your own.
And when you start to believe that, you’ll be much more confident and attractive. They’ll see that you’re not needy or desperate for their approval. And that will make them more interested in you.
Men come and go, but you will always be there for yourself.
There’s no denying that the people in our lives play an important role. They can make us laugh, help us through tough times, and just be there for us when we need them. But at the end of the day, we’re the only ones who can truly be there for ourselves.
We’re the ones who have to make tough decisions, stand up for ourselves, and keep going when things get tough. So while it’s great to have friends and family who support us, we need to remember that we’re the only ones who will always be there for ourselves.
So it’s up to us to make sure that we’re taking care of ourselves, physically and emotionally. We need to make sure that we’re doing what’s best for ourselves, even when it’s not easy. Because at the end of the day, we’re the only ones who can truly take care of ourselves.
Men can be fickle and change their minds easily.
If you’re seeking validation from a man, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Why? Because many men can be fickle and change their minds easily. They may say one thing and do another. They may give you their attention one day and ignore you the next. And even if they do give you the validation you’re looking for, it’s likely to be short-lived. So why bother seeking validation from a man when you’re likely to be disappointed?
What might make him happy today could make him angry tomorrow. And if your happiness depends on his approval, you’ll always be chasing after a moving target.
It’s much better to focus on your own happiness. Find things that make you happy and do them, regardless of what a man may think or say. That way, you’ll never have to worry about whether or not you’re doing something right – because you’ll already be happy.
Embrace your femininity and own your power.
One of the best ways to stop seeking validation from a man is to embrace your femininity and own your power. So often, we’re taught to suppress our femininity. To be tough, to be ambitious, to be independent. And don’t get me wrong, those qualities are important. But at the same time, there’s nothing wrong with being soft, sensitive, and compassionate. There’s nothing wrong with showing your emotions or needing someone else’s support.
In fact, I would argue that embracing your femininity is one of the most powerful things you can do. When you own your femininity, you tap into a well of strength and power that you never knew existed. You become more confident and more self-assured. You start to see yourself as the incredible woman that you are. So go ahead and wear that pretty dress. Go ahead and express your feelings. Go ahead and let your guard down. Because when you do, you’ll find that there’s nothing more empowering than being 100% yourself.
Know that you are worthy of love and respect, no matter what a man may say or do.
Most women have experienced some form of mistreatment at a man’s hands. Maybe it was a hurtful comment, an insulting action, or something worse. Whatever the case may be, it’s important to remember that you are worthy of love and respect, no matter what a man may say or do.
It can be easy to doubt yourself, especially when it comes to relationships. We often put so much emphasis on what a man thinks or says that we forget to focus on our own worthiness. No one has the right to make you feel less than you are, and you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
So don’t let anyone tell you otherwise – know that you are worthy of love and respect, no matter what. You deserve nothing less.
Learn to love and accept yourself exactly as you are, flaws and all.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to learn to love and accept yourself exactly as you are, flaws and all. We all have flaws, and we all make mistakes. But that doesn’t mean we’re not worthy of love and respect.
If you can learn to love yourself unconditionally, you’ll never have to seek validation from a man again. You’ll know that you’re already worthy of love and respect, no matter what. So instead of trying to be perfect, focus on being the best version of yourself. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself when you make mistakes, and learn to love yourself just as you are. After all, if you can’t accept yourself for who you are, how can you expect anyone else to do the same?
When you do things for the wrong reasons – such as seeking validation – you’re less likely to succeed.
Think about it this way: if you’re only doing something – or pursuing a goal – because you want a man’s approval, what happens if you don’t get it? You’ll likely feel disappointed, discouraged, and maybe even angry. But if you’re doing something for yourself – because you want to, not because you think a man will approve – you’re much more likely to succeed.
The reason is that when we’re driven by a need for approval or validation, we’re more likely to focus on external rewards rather than the satisfaction of the task itself. As a result, we’re less likely to stick with it when the going gets tough. And even if we do succeed, we’re less likely to feel good about it. So next time you’re considering taking on a new challenge, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. You’ll be more likely to succeed – and you’ll enjoy the process a whole lot more.
Surround yourself with positive people who will build you up, not tear you down.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with positive people who will build you up, not tear you down. If you’re constantly around critical, judgmental, or negative people, it’s only a matter of time before their negativity starts to rub off on you.
Instead, seek out people who are supportive, encouraging, and positive. These are the people who will help you to see the best in yourself, even when you’re struggling. They’ll remind you of your worthiness and help you stay focused on your goals.
So if you’re looking for validation, make sure you’re surrounded by people who will give you the support and encouragement you need. These are the people who will help you to feel good about yourself, no matter what.
So the next time you find yourself reaching out to a man for validation, remember that it’s not worth your time. You are valuable and amazing just as you are- no one has the power to change that but you. Let go of seeking validation from others and start giving it to yourself. It’s the only way you will ever truly be happy and content with who you are. Are you ready to give up seeking validation from men? If so, let us know how we can help!
Brenda Tillman is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Practitioner, a dedicated mom blogger, and a life enthusiast. She also has completed courses on Parenting Skills, Learning, and Education. She is married and is the proud mother of a boy and two girls. She loves being with her family and pets. She has been blogging for over five years now and enjoys sharing her thoughts on parenting, relationships, health & fitness as well as other topics that come up in life.