- Meeting your best friend’s new boyfriend can be nerve-wracking, but going in with an open mind is key.
- Set reasonable expectations beforehand about how much time you’ll spend together. Don’t expect to become instant friends.
- Look for common interests and topics of conversation, but avoid interrogating him. Let the conversation flow naturally.
- Pay attention to how he treats your friend – does he seem genuinely interested in her, make her laugh, and make her feel special? Those are good signs.
- If she seems happy, support the relationship. But also let her know you’re there for her if she ever needs advice or help.
- There may be some awkward moments but focus on getting to know each other and building a positive connection. With understanding on both sides, you’ll likely become friends over time.
- Discuss boundaries and ground rules on what you feel comfortable sharing with each other upfront. Some things your friend tells you should stay between you two.
- Don’t get involved in or take sides in any arguments. Be a neutral, supportive sounding board for your friend.
- Make an effort to include the boyfriend in some group activities to integrate him into your social circle.
When your best friend starts dating someone new, it’s only natural to have some concerns about how it could impact your friendship. You want to make sure this new person measures up and will treat your BFF the way they deserve. Approaching that crucial first meeting with an open mind is key to starting off on the right foot.
How to Mentally Prepare for Meeting Your BFF’s New S.O.
The thought of your best friend’s new love interest can inspire a mix of emotions. Curiosity about what this mystery person is like. Excitement at your friend’s happiness. And maybe a twinge of jealousy at having to share their time and attention. It’s normal, but try not to let any negative feelings cloud your perception. By going into it with an optimistic mindset, you’ll give the new relationship your best shot at success.
Keep an Open Mind
Don’t let a bad first impression close you off. Remind yourself that most people are nervous about meeting their significant other’s friends. Go in with no preconceived notions. Spend time getting to know them before making any judgments about their character or suitability.
Set Realistic Expectations
It would be great if you hit it off immediately and all became best friends. But more often, these meetings start off a bit awkward. You’re still strangers at this point. Don’t expect to instantly adore them or have tons in common. Building a connection takes time. Focus on being friendly.
This Isn’t a Competition
While it’s natural to feel somewhat possessive of your BFF, avoid seeing their S.O. as a rival. They don’t have to choose between you. There’s room for both of you in their life. Make an effort to get along, and your friend will appreciate it.
Making a Good First Impression When You Meet
That initial encounter is crucial for starting things off on the right foot. With some thoughtful preparation, you can come across as warm and welcoming.
Choose the Right Meeting Spot
Opt for a casual, public place like a coffee shop or park. Being in a relaxed environment will help everyone feel more comfortable. Get to know each other before picking activities that require more interaction.
Watch Your Body Language
Smile, make eye contact, and lean in to show interest. Crossed arms and distracted phone glances will give the impression you don’t want to be there. Relax and focus on the conversation.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
“Yes or no” questions don’t provide opportunities for discussion. Ask about their job, interests, background, opinions on light topics, and how they met your friend. Then share a little about yourself too.
Find Common Ground
Look for shared interests, hobbies, tastes in music and TV, sports teams, etc. Having things in common helps build a connection. Just avoid interrogating them in rapid fire. Let the conversation flow naturally.
Give Genuine Compliments
Point out positive traits you notice, like their intelligence, sense of humor, laidback attitude or anything else appealing about them. Sincere compliments are a great icebreaker.
Signs Your BFF’s New S.O. Is a Good Match
While getting a feel for their personality, also watch how they interact with your friend. The way they treat each other provides important clues about the health of their bond.
They Make Each Other Laugh
Do they share inside jokes? Are they playful and silly together? Laughter and finding the same things funny are signs of chemistry.
They Balance Each Other Out
Sometimes opposites attract. If their strengths and weaknesses complement each other, it can create balance. Are they bringing out the best in your BFF?
They Show Affection
Small touches, loving gazes and terms of endearment demonstrate mutual caring and attraction between them. Does your friend have that “look of love”?
They Seem Invested
Good partners show interest by asking questions, listening closely, remembering important details, and making plans together. Do they seem fully engaged with your BFF?
They’re Proud of Each Other
Complimenting each other’s accomplishments and encouraging their goals are sweet signs. Is their body language and tone full of admiration?
No couple agrees on everything. Watch how they navigate differences. Can they compromise without arguing or giving in? Flexibility is key.
Getting Comfortable Together
At first, it may feel a little uncomfortable navigating this new dynamic. With some effort to integrate the boyfriend into group activities, you’ll adjust over time.
Have a Movie Marathon
Choose a few favorite flicks you can all enjoy. Commenting on the movies gives you something to talk about besides just getting to know each other.
Meet Up for a Game Night
Play fun board or video games together – nothing too serious or competitive. Laughing together breaks the ice.
Catch a Local Sports Game
Cheering on your favorite sports team allows for bonding. Attend a game or watch one together at a sports bar.
Plan a Day Outing
Do an activity like mini golf, bowling, or checking out a museum exhibit. Having something to do creates conversation starters.
Get Your Eat On
Share a meal at a cool restaurant you think they’ll both like. Good food and conversations make for easier bonding.
Try a Fun Class
Take an interesting class together like cooking, pottery painting or mixology. Shared new experiences build familiarity.
Host a Small Dinner
Have them over for a homemade meal. Cooking for them shows your friendship acceptance.
Go to a Show
Concerts, plays, improv comedy… enjoying entertainment together sparks natural conversations and laughs.
Take Day Trips
Explore a charming nearby town or scenic nature spot. Being on the road allows for deeper conversations.
Work Out Together
Sweating it out in an exercise class or with a sport builds team spirit. Endorphins get you energized to socialize after.
Balancing Both Friendships
Once you’ve met the new love interest, you’ll naturally start wondering how it will impact your friendship. Having open conversations helps manage expectations.
Discuss Your Concerns
Voice any worries you have honestly but gently. Say you want to be supportive but will miss your friend. They’ll likely share similar feelings.
Agree on Boundaries
Clarify what details about the relationship you’re comfortable discussing or keeping private between you two. Some things should stay confidential.
Make One-on-One Time
Schedule dedicated catch-up sessions without partners. Keep nurturing your bond through regular BFF hangouts focused just on you two.
Support Their Relationship
Get to know the S.O. better through group hangs. Make them feel included and that you’re glad your friend found someone who cares.
Don’t Take Sides
If they get in an argument, listen to your friend but avoid bad-mouthing their partner. Stay neutral – you don’t know the full story.
Remember Your Value
The fact that your history predates their relationship makes your friendship special. You offer unique support only you can provide.
Dealing with Jealousy in a Healthy Way
A little envy creeping in is normal when you’ve gotten used to all your BFF’s attention. Keep it from sabotaging the new relationship with these tips.
Focus on Your Own Love Life
Rather than resenting your friend’s happiness, look for ways to enrich your relationships and find someone special too.
Communicate Your Feelings
If you’re feeling left out, sensitively tell your friend you miss them. Just don’t issue an ultimatum forcing them to choose sides.
Plan Outings Just the Two of You
Schedule regular friend dates to talk, laugh, and have fun like old times. Prioritize bonding without partners.
Broaden Your Social Circle
Branch out to hang with other friends too so you’re not solely dependent on your BFF for companionship.
Fill your free time with hobbies, career goals, and self-improvement projects. Staying active keeps your mind off negative feelings.
Be Happy for Them
Focus on the positive. Your friend has found someone who brings them joy. Their happiness should make you smile too.
Don’t Obsess Over the Change
Accept that your friendship dynamic may evolve, but the core bond remains. This is just a new chapter, not the end of your closeness.
Being a Support System for Your Friend
Your BFF will look to you for trusted advice as they navigate new relationship challenges. Here’s how to have their back.
Listen Without Judgement
Provide an empathetic, open ear. Don’t criticize their partner, even if you have reservations. Just be supportive.
Ask Thoughtful Questions
Rather than telling them what to do, ask how they feel and what they think is the best course. Guide them to make their own decisions.
Review Healthy Relationship Basics
Gently remind them of standards like mutual respect, trust, independence, compromise, communication, and intimacy.
Suggest Couples Counseling
If they’re fighting frequently or struggling to see each other’s perspectives, a therapist can provide tools to communicate better.
Help Them See Warning Signs
If you notice controlling behavior, dishonesty, emotional abuse or other red flags, express polite concern. But let them connect the dots.
Offer a Shoulder to Cry On
After a tough fight, be there to console them. Reassure them the pain is temporary and they have your unconditional support.
If their partner makes them feel insecure, remind them of their strength, worth and all the qualities that make them amazing.
Avoid Trash Talking
As angry as they may be in the moment, avoid bashing their S.O. too harshly. Don’t make the split worse if they choose to mend it.
Suggest a Trial Separation
If things get toxic, floating the idea of time apart could help. Again, let them come to the decision themselves.
Becoming Friends with Your BFF’s Beau
Developing your own unique bond apart from your bestie lays the foundation for a comfortable long-term dynamic.
Find Shared Interests
Having things in common you enjoy makes it easier to connect and gives you an excuse to hang out. Maybe you both love live music or college football. Find what overlaps.
Go to Them for Advice
Seeking their input makes them feel valued. Ask their thoughts on issues they have experience with, like career, school, sports, etc.
Open Up a Little
Let your guard down bit by bit. Confiding some personal stuff shows you trust them. Just don’t overshare anything private that could embarrass your BFF.
Give Thoughtful Gifts
Gift them something with meaning that shows you pay attention, like a book on their favorite hobby or something related to an interest they mentioned.
Extend Unique Invites
Suggest solo hangouts to bond away from your BFF, like getting coffee, checking out a game store or volunteering together somewhere.
Stand Up for Them
If others unfairly criticize them, defend them and list positive qualities you see. Show you value them as an individual beyond just your friend’s S.O.
Everyone feels down sometimes. If they mention a bad day at work, a family issue, a health problem, etc. follow up to let them know you care.
Make Inside Jokes
Having little jokes just between you helps cement your personal friendship. Refer back to funny moments only the two of you share.
Remember Important Dates
Wish them a happy birthday, work anniversary or other special day. They’ll appreciate you noting milestones in their life.
|Preparing Mentally||Listen without judgement, ask thoughtful questions, review relationship basics, suggest counseling if needed, watch for red flags, provide a shoulder to cry on, avoid trash-talking their partner|
|Making a Good Impression||Relaxed location, positive body language, open-ended questions, find common ground, give compliments|
|Signs of a Good Match||Laughter, balance, affection, investment, admiration, compromise|
|Getting Comfortable Hanging Out||Movie nights, game nights, sports events, day trips, meals, exercise, shows, classes|
|Balancing Friendships||Discuss concerns, agree on boundaries, nurture one-on-one time, support their relationship, don’t take sides|
|Dealing with Jealousy||Find shared interests, ask their advice, open up, give thoughtful gifts, make solo plans, defend them to others, check-in, make inside jokes, remember important dates|
|Being a Support System||Focus on your own relationships, plan solo hangouts, broaden your social circle, stay busy, be happy for them, accept change|
|Becoming Friends||Find shared interests, ask their advice, open up, give thoughtful gifts, make solo plans, defend them to others, check in, make inside jokes, remember important dates|
When your BFF starts a new relationship, it stirs up a wide range of emotions. Handling that first introduction with their partner carefully sets the stage for your friendship moving forward. Keep an open heart and mind, look for common ground, and support your bestie’s happiness. Getting to know each other slowly, communicating expectations, and showing you care will help the three of you transition to a comfortable dynamic over time. With understanding and effort on all sides, you can adapt to the change in your friendship while gaining a new companion too.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I tell if my BFF’s new S.O. is bad news?
Trust your instincts if you notice controlling behaviors, anger issues, dishonesty, disrespect towards your friend or other red flags. Have a gentle heart-to-heart with your friend sharing your concerns, but avoid insisting you know best. They need to realize their problems themselves before they leave an unhealthy relationship. Just remind them you care and are there to support them no matter what.
What if my friend starts ditching me to always be with their boyfriend?
It’s natural when you first start dating someone to want to spend all your free time together. But remind your BFF gently that you miss her and want to keep nurturing your friendship too. Schedule set times just for the two of you to connect one-on-one. If she keeps bailing on you, honestly but tactfully express that you feel hurt. A true best friend will make you a priority too.
Is it my place to intervene if they’re fighting a lot?
Tread carefully here. An outside perspective can help, but ultimately each couple needs to figure out their issues themselves. You can mention gently if you’re worried and encourage them to communicate calmly and seek counseling if needed. But don’t take sides in an argument or outright tell them to break up. Just be a shoulder to lean on and a source of unconditional support.
What do I do if I just can’t stand my bestie’s boyfriend?
Personality clashes happen but dislike isn’t an excuse to be outright rude or hostile. Kill them with kindness. Focus on your friend and make an effort to be polite, even if you have to fake it. Who knows, the boyfriend may grow on you. Or if your BFF is happy, that’s what matters most. But let her know gently if you ever need to vent.
How can I deal with feelings of envy over their relationship?
It’s natural to feel a little jealousy but don’t let it breed resentment. Try channeling that energy into improving your own love life. And lean on other friends so you don’t rely solely on your BFF for companionship. Finding fulfillment in your own life helps take the sting out of her being unavailable sometimes. Just focus on being happy for her.
Should I tell my friend if I spot their partner on a dating app?
Tread carefully to avoid drama, but yes discreetly tell your friend if you have concrete proof their partner is being dishonest. Just try to break the news gently and without judgment, letting them process it. Make clear you’ll support them no matter what they decide. But ultimately, it’s their relationship so let them handle it.
What do I do if my BFF asks me to keep secrets from their S.O.?
Secrets breed distrust in relationships. If it’s something trivial, keep it to yourself. But if it’s a more serious issue, encourage your friend to be honest with their partner, perhaps with your support. Don’t betray your friend’s confidence but make clear you don’t feel right lying to their boyfriend either. Integrity and transparency matter most.
How can we avoid the boyfriend feeling like a third wheel?
Make an effort to include them in conversations and activities. Sit between them at outings to engage with you both. Find common interests you can bond over one-on-one and in group settings. But also balance joint and solo hangs with your BFF so all relationships stay strong. With time, it will feel natural to be a trio.
How do I keep my cool if they start publicly displaying PDAs?
Here are some tips for keeping your cool if your BFF and their new boyfriend start publicly displaying excessive PDA:
- Politely excuse yourself from the situation if you start to feel uncomfortable. Take a quick break to reset.
- Distract yourself by striking up a conversation with someone else nearby. Shifting your focus can help diffuse irritation.
- Remind yourself that it’s normal for new couples to act infatuated. Try to be happy your friend is in the honeymoon phase.
- If PDA becomes a frequent issue, gently tell your BFF it makes you slightly uncomfortable when taken too far in public. Set reasonable boundaries.
- Use humor to subtly call out the behavior in a lighthearted way, like saying “Come up for air, lovebirds!” or “Get a room!” with a smile.
- Suggest group activities where they’ll have to tone down the PDA and engage with others too.
- As awkward as it may be, don’t let it ruin your time together. Just focus on the fun rather than fixating on their displays of affection.
- If it reaches a point where you really can’t tolerate it, be honest with your friend about needing a little break from hanging out as a trio for now.
The key is handling the situation with maturity, care, and a bit of humor. With communication and understanding, you can reach a balance.
Meet Anna West! A connoisseur of all things stylish, Anna has an innate ability to weave the latest in fashion trends seamlessly into her writings. But her expertise doesn’t stop at fashion for modern women. Within the folds of her articles, you’ll also find a sprinkle of home decoration wisdom, a dash of pet care advice, and thoughtful insights on relationships. While fashion remains her forte, Anna’s multifaceted perspective ensures that her readers get a well-rounded dose of inspiration for various facets of life. Dive into Anna’s world, and discover a blend of style, elegance, and practical wisdom. Stay informed, inspired, and always in vogue with Anna West.