Everyone has trust issues at some point in their life. Maybe you don’t trust people because they’ve hurt you in the past, or perhaps you don’t think that people are inherently good. Either way, trust issues can be a significant obstacle in any relationship. If you’re struggling with trust issues, here are a few tips to help you deal with them.
Stay Calm.
Stress is often a factor when it comes to trust issues, so try relaxing or doing something that you enjoy. Yoga, breathing exercises, and meditation are great ways to calm yourself down, either in general or when dealing with trust issues. If you give yourself some time to relax every day, then any trust issues can be dealt with better than if you let them build up over time.
Trust issues often stem from misunderstandings or hurt feelings, and they can be resolved if both sides are willing to work on the relationship. In the meantime, give yourself some time to calm down and feel more secure in confronting them about the issue.
Changing your mindset is the first step to overcoming trust issues.
When you’re feeling stressed or anxious, it’s easy to let those emotions get the best of you. Instead, sit down and take a deep breath. Remind yourself that this is only temporary, and you’ll get through it.
Sometimes, trust issues are too complex to deal with on your own. If that’s the case with you, consider seeing a therapist or talking to someone else about it. They can provide you with an outside perspective that may be able to help you resolve your trust issues faster than if you tried doing it alone.
Start Small.
Dealing with trust issues can be scary, but take it one step at a time. Even if you don’t trust someone completely, try to start small and work your way up from there.
Building back trust in anyone is difficult, but the best place to begin is by first showing them that you believe them to be trustworthy on minor things. Over time, as they prove themselves trustworthy over and over again, those little things will turn into bigger things until your friendship or relationship grows stronger than ever before because of it.
For example: if you’re constantly asking where your boyfriend is and who he’s with, then it’s probably time to stop doing that. Start by letting him go out with friends without questioning him, and then over time, check in with him less and less until you do not need to know where he is all of the time.
Trust takes a long time to build, and you need to take baby steps if you want it to be repaired in any relationship.
Keep Yourself Busy.
If you’re not busy, it can be easy to dwell on your trust issues. The good thing about having them is that it’s a good sign you care about your relationship. If you felt nothing, then trust issues likely wouldn’t be a problem for you in the first place.
Trust issues rarely resolve themselves without your help. The more proactive you are about fixing them, the faster they’ll get resolved. Keep yourself busy by focusing on other parts of your life besides your relationship with this person. That could mean spending more time at work or signing up for classes at school, whatever works best for you, as long as it makes you feel good about yourself.
Keeping busy not only takes your mind off of trust issues but it gives you something good to focus on instead. Even if trust issues don’t resolve themselves right away, taking care of yourself by focusing on other parts of your life can make it easier to deal with them.
Keep in mind that trust issues are usually based on something particular from your past, whether it’s an actual event or a feeling you get when you think about an event. Sometimes the only way to overcome trust issues is to confront them head-on. It can be challenging to talk about something that hurts or makes you feel anxious, but if you’re willing to open up, it can help your relationship grow.
Talk To Someone You Trust.
Talking about your fears can be very powerful, but you must do this with someone supportive who won’t judge you. It doesn’t have to be anyone involved in your current relationship if it makes you feel uncomfortable, but find someone who will listen without judging or criticizing you.
If possible, choose a friend or family member who knows about your trust issues and talk to them. They can help you work through it, especially if they know something specific that sets off the trust issue and that things will get better.
Next, think about what’s causing you to feel this way. Is it a specific event or person, or just a general feeling of anxiety that’s affecting your relationship? The more you understand why you feel the way you do, the easier it will be for your friend or loved one to help you.
Maybe you have a hard time trusting people, or you need some help working through your trust issues. Either way, talking to someone you trust can be very beneficial in helping you overcome your trust issues. It’s not always easy to talk about our feelings, but having someone there who won’t judge you and will help you through it can make a world of difference.
Talk About Your Feelings With Them.
Now that you’ve gotten yourself in a calmer state of mind and gotten some outside advice talk to the person who is causing your trust issues and share how you feel about them with them.
Maybe this person doesn’t know that they’re hurting your feelings or making you feel insecure. Communicate with them about how their actions make you feel, and they’ll understand where you’re coming from.
Tell them what’s going on and why you’re having trouble trusting them. If they care about you, then they’ll want to help resolve your trust issues so that you can feel comfortable around them again.
If the person you’re trying to confront isn’t open about their feelings, then that can be a sign that they’re not willing to help resolve your trust issues. If that’s the case, you might need to confront them less directly and instead try to work on your own insecurities or worry about them less.
Trust issues are complicated and impactful, so they need to be resolved with care. If you can do that, your trust issues will be gone before you know it.
Don’t Blame Yourself.
Remember that it’s not your fault if you have trust issues. There are many different reasons why people develop them, and they generally don’t have anything to do with you.
Other people can be responsible for many things that cause trust issues, but even if they’re not, there’s no reason to blame yourself for them. If you’re having trust issues, then it’s likely because other people have hurt your feelings in the past.
You’re not alone. Trust issues are a common problem that many people have to deal with, and it’s easy to feel ashamed about them or blame yourself for what happened. But don’t do that. If you feel confident talking to this person about your feelings, let them know how you feel about them. Trust issues are complicated, but if you work with your partner, they can be resolved sooner rather than later.
Many people think that their trust issues stem from some kind of personal failing on their part, but the truth is that there are all kinds of reasons why someone might not be able to trust others. Your past experiences don’t define you, so don’t blame yourself for them.
If you think that your trust issues are a reflection of who you are as a person, then it’s time to get past that. Your past doesn’t define you, and you can get past your trust issues if you’re willing to try.
Take Responsibility.
Although there may be many reasons you don’t trust somebody in your life right now, make sure you aren’t turning things around in your mind so they become all about you. For example: maybe your boyfriend cheated on his last girlfriend, but he swears that he’s going to be faithful this time.
One logical conclusion would be that he might not be trustworthy, but you can’t know whether or not that’ll be the case. Instead of trying to figure out if he’s going to hurt you in the future, focus on trusting him right now.
The only thing you can do is focus on trusting him, but there’s no sense in figuring out the future. If you’re going to be unhappy no matter what he does, then perhaps it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
It’s good to be confident about the people you let into your life, and one way you can do that is by taking responsibility for your trust issues.
If you try to take responsibility for your trust issues, it can be easier to live with them. There are all kinds of reasons why you might have trust issues, but don’t let them control your life.
Don’t argue.
Don’t argue about where they were or how much you can trust him, and instead, show him that you’re willing to work through your issues together. Don’t argue with every little thing that they do, and try to understand that you’re asking them to put a lot of trust in you by doing what you say.
There is a difference between trust and control, and if you try to control another human being, you’re going to have many problems in your life. It will be hard to trust them if they can’t trust you first, so don’t make things harder on yourself by assuming the worst.
If You Don’t Trust Them, Then Leave.
Everybody deserves to be trusted by the people they care about, and if you feel like you can’t trust somebody, then it’s best to leave the relationship.
For example, if you don’t trust your boyfriend and know that he cheated on his last girlfriend, you need to confront that and figure out if it’s something that can be fixed.
If you’re unwilling to try and resolve your trust issues together, you should probably end the relationship. That’s not to say that it isn’t worth trying or that there aren’t other options, but if you don’t trust somebody, it’s best not to be in a relationship with them.
It might feel like letting go of somebody you love, but it’s for the best. Trust is complicated, and if your partner can’t understand why you need them to earn your trust, it’s probably not the right time to be in a relationship.
Focus on building trust, and if you feel like it’s not something you can achieve, then it’s probably best to move on. Trusting somebody is a vulnerable position, and there are all kinds of things that you’re giving up when you let somebody into your life. If they don’t deserve to be trusted, there’s no sense in staying around.
Accept The Rejection.
If you’re constantly accusing people of being untrustworthy or trying to prove their trustworthiness, then you might be getting in the way of people who care about you.
Don’t make things harder for your partner, and don’t expect them to prove themselves to you constantly.
You may have trust issues, but don’t make them someone else’s problem if it means that they’ll be unable to get close to you.
For example: if you have trust issues, let your boyfriend feel like he can be open with you instead of making him constantly afraid that he’ll lose you if he does something that you disagree with. It’s a hard thing to do, but it will allow your boyfriend to prove himself trustworthy repeatedly instead of putting him on the defensive.
Conclusion.
Putting your trust in somebody can be a huge step, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you’re not willing to trust the people in your life, then you’re never going to be happy, so it’s best not to waste your time with people who can’t earn your trust.
Focus on what you can change, and let go of all the things that are out of your control. Trust is hard to come by, and it’s even harder to have if you haven’t proven yourself trustworthy. Take a deep breath, and try to make the changes you need to make to find happiness.
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Discover the dynamic world through the eyes of Joanna Perez: a celebrated Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Practitioner and an ardent blogger. Not just a writer, Joanna is also an explorer, partner, and a proud mother. Her expertise goes beyond penning thoughts on parenting, health, and lifestyle; she’s also a certified Women Empowerment Life Coach. With training in Life Mastery, Health, Happiness, and Success, she’s equipped to guide you through life’s complexities. Her dedication to education shines as she’s dived deep into the realms of Neuroscience for Parents and completed the Skilled Helper Training Course.
Reviewed By: Anna West and Brenda Tillman
Edited By: Lenny Terra
Fact Checked By: Marcella Raskin
Photos Taken or Curated By: Matthew Mansour