The 10 Ways to Avoid Arguments with Your Partner

Reviewed, fact-checked & edited by Marcella Raskin.
This blog is supported by its readers. If you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

To have a healthy and happy relationship, it is essential to learn how to avoid arguments with your partner. You and your partner may have different opinions and ways of doing things, but that’s okay!

Disagreeing is a normal part of any relationship. However, it is vital to learn how to disagree healthily. Here are 10 tips for avoiding arguments with your partner:

Don’t take things too personally.

Dont take things too personally

When your partner disagrees with you, remember they are not attacking you personally. They are simply expressing their own opinion.

Taking a difference of opinion too personally can create a lot of unnecessary arguments!

When your partner says something, they aren’t trying to hurt your feelings or make you angry! If it suddenly becomes personal, tell them and discuss the issue calmly and respectfully.

The best thing to do in this situation is to take a step back and remember that partners often disagree with each other.

Be respectful of one another.

Although it is okay to disagree, always be respectful and kind to your partner when you do. This means no slamming doors, raising your voice, name-calling, or swearing.

Respect in a relationship should not be one-sided. If you expect your partner to be respectful of you, you need to do the same for them. You need to show that you care and love each other by respecting their opinions, even if you disagree with them.

Communicate effectively with each other.

One of the best ways to avoid arguments with your partner is to communicate effectively with them. This means listening attentively, without interrupting, and giving each other your undivided attention.

It also means being clear and concise when speaking and making sure that your partner understands what you are saying. If you need to discuss something that is bothering you, do it calmly and rationally. Avoid bringing up past arguments or criticizing your partner.

Before jumping into an argument, ask yourself if there’s any truth behind what your partner is saying. Do they have any valid points? And then listen to their concerns without interrupting them.

Try to understand where they are coming from and why they feel that way before responding, so you can communicate more effectively. Most arguments in a relationship come from miscommunication. By really listening to your partner, you can avoid a lot of fights before they start!

Keep the conversation private when possible.

It isn’t easy to control emotions when other people are around because everyone has different opinions and ways of seeing things. If you want to avoid an argument, discuss this in private as much as possible!

When you are around other people, it’s easy to get defensive and lash out. This is not the environment you want to be in when trying to resolve an issue with your partner. Arguments in public can also embarrass both parties involved and could lead to more fights down the line.

If you need to talk to your partner about something bothering you, try to do it in a neutral territory where you can be alone and have their undivided attention. This will help to avoid any bystanders from getting involved or feeling uncomfortable.

Arguments that occur in public are more likely to be overheard by others. This can lead onlookers to make their own assumptions about what’s going on between the two of you, which may not be true at all.

If you are in a public place while arguing, try to move it elsewhere so you don’t start an unnecessary fight with your partner.

Say sorry when you’re wrong.

sorry

When you realize that your partner is correct and that you were wrong, admit it!

This shows that you care about each other’s feelings even more than your own pride. Saying sorry does not make you weak; it makes you mature and respectful of your relationship.

Even if your partner is partly wrong, don’t respond with “I told you so!” or criticize them. Instead, try to understand the mistake and why they made it.

Take responsibility for your part in the argument. Remember that relationships are give-and-take; both parties should be willing to compromise their wants and needs occasionally.

It takes two mature people in a relationship to apologize when they are wrong. After you have done the right thing by apologizing, let it go.

Don’t bring up past mistakes or justify your actions if you think your apology is not being accepted. Once you’ve said sorry, accept their apology too! If both parties keep bringing up the past, it will only lead to more arguments.

Offer alternatives instead of criticism or judgment.

Criticizing your significant other’s ideas is a great way to start an argument! Instead, offer at least 2 alternatives they may not have thought of.

When you are critical, your partner feels as though you don’t respect them or their opinions. This can be a significant turnoff and cause them to close up completely.

Offering alternatives shows that you listen to what they say and care about their thoughts and feelings. It also takes the focus off of you and puts it back on them. This will help to diffuse any tension that may be building up. Your partner will feel appreciated and heard, which are two essential ingredients for a healthy relationship.

For example:

Instead of “You’re lazy,” try. “I noticed that you didn’t do the dishes this morning. Would you like me to help with them, or will you do it later?

Or maybe, “It looks like it would be very time-consuming to do the dishes. Do you have any other chores in mind that are not as stressful but still need to be done?”

The first statement makes your partner feel like they’re nothing but a burden on you, which is never what you want to do. The second and third statements offer a possible solution and help them feel like they are contributing something to the relationship.

When you offer alternatives instead of criticism, it makes your partner feel heard and helps resolve the issue at hand.

When offering an alternative, it’s important to be specific. This means providing a clear idea of how you think the issue should be resolved. This will help your partner to understand what it is that you’re looking for.

Fight Smarter: Avoid the Most Common Argument Patterns - Esther Perel

Notice your triggers.

We all have things that set us off and can cause an argument. If you are aware of these triggers, you can try to avoid them or at least be more prepared when they happen. For example, if you know that you get outraged when your partner doesn’t listen to you, try to schedule a time for them to talk to you and focus on what you’re saying.

If you know your partner always needs some time alone after a long day, don’t bombard them with questions and requests when they get home. Respecting your partner’s triggers will help to avoid any unnecessary arguments too.

It’s important to remember that everyone is different. You cannot expect your partner to understand your triggers if you don’t even know yourself!

Try to be more self-aware of what’s bothering you and pay attention to when it happens. Once you get in the habit of identifying these triggers, they won’t catch you by surprise anymore. When you feel angry, upset, or frustrated with your partner, take a few minutes to think about the situation before reacting. Can you identify any triggers that might contribute to this feeling?

Once you can acknowledge why you are upset, it becomes easier to find a way to express your thoughts and feelings appropriately. If you don’t take the time to understand your triggers, you will likely end up saying or doing something that you’ll regret later.

It’s important to remember that we all have things that bother us, and we can’t expect our partners to know what they are without telling them.

Don’t bottle things up.

bottle things up

If something is bothering you, it’s essential to talk about it with your partner. Bottling things up will only worsen the situation and lead to an argument.

It’s also important to be open and honest with your partner about your feelings. This means that you should never keep secrets from them or try to hide your emotions.

If you’re unsure how to bring up a particular topic, try using “I” statements instead of “you.”

For example:

“I feel like I’m always the one who ends up taking care of the housework. It would be really helpful if we could switch off once in a while.”

This way, your partner will know that you’re not attacking them and that you’re simply trying to communicate.

If something is bothering you, tell your partner. It’s important to communicate with each other so that neither of you ends up feeling unappreciated or ignored.

Your partner cannot read your mind, and they might not realize what’s going on unless you talk to them about it. Taking a little bit of time each day to discuss your feelings can help to strengthen your emotional bond and keep arguments from getting out of hand.

It is much easier for tensions to escalate when one person feels unheard of or neglected by their partner. So make sure to communicate, even if it’s something that you don’t want to deal with or makes you feel uncomfortable.

Listen more than you talk.

When you disagree with your partner, it’s easy to want to talk over them or try to prove why you’re right. However, this only tends to raise frustrations and will not help resolve the issue at hand.

It’s important to remember that listening is an active form of showing someone you care. Instead of just hearing what they have to say, try taking the time to understand their point of view or perspective on things.

You can also ask questions if you don’t quite understand something they’ve said. If your partner feels like they are being heard and understood, they will feel more willing to listen to what you have to say too!

A good way of thinking about this is by picturing yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself questions like:

  • What might they be feeling right now?
  • What might they be going through?
  • How can I help or support them?
  • What does this situation mean to them?

To avoid arguing with your significant other, it is best to try and put yourself in their shoes first and consider things from their perspective before reacting.

Next time you feel the urge to argue or raise your voice, take a step back and try seeing things from their point of view instead. This way, you will better understand what’s going on and can avoid conflict altogether!

Avoiding Arguments in Your Relationship (STOP FIGHTING)

Seek professional help when needed.

If you and your partner are struggling to resolve serious issues on your own, seek professional help. There are trained therapists who can help you work through your problems and find better ways to communicate with each other.

This doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with your relationship; it just means that you might need some extra support to get through a difficult time. Therapy can be a beneficial way to learn more about yourself and your partner and develop new skills for dealing with conflict.

If you feel like your relationship is in danger, it’s vital to seek professional help. Be sure to give your therapist an accurate summary of what problems you are facing so that they can best help you resolve them.

Conclusion.

There are many ways to avoid arguments with your partner, but both of you need to be willing and open for them to work.

If one person feels unheard or unappreciated, they will not feel like listening or understanding the other’s perspective. This can lead to a heated argument that leaves someone feeling angry and resentful instead of loved.

We hope that these tips help you to better understand and communicate with your partner without resorting to arguments. What do you think is the best way to avoid arguments with your partner? Do you have any tips of your own to share? Let us know in the comments below!

Author

  • Joanna Perez

    Joanna Perez is a Certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Practitioner, a passionate blogger, writer, traveler, wife, and mother of one boy. Joanna loves to share her thoughts on parenting, health, wellness, and lifestyle. She is a Certified Women Empowerment Life Coach and has done courses on Life Mastery, Happiness, Health, and Success. She also has studied Neuroscience for Parents and took the Skilled Helper Training Course. She believes in helping people become the best version of themselves and strives to provide quality informative and inspiring content. She loves animals, especially her two cats, and can often be found taking photos of them as they pose for the camera.

Leave a Comment